Nobody takes you seriously. People laugh at you behind your back. You put more hours in than anyone else in your department, but you still get no promotion. Your manager doesnt remember your name, and other employees steal customers from you. People cut you off in mid-sentence to make their point, and nobody stands up and takes notice of your talents. If you have experienced these symptoms of disrespect, you have come to the right place.

Why Being Respected is Crucial

When mankind existed in tribal communities, respect was essential to ones prospects of finding a mate, food, and safety for their offspring. No one was willing to hunt with, mate with, or even live with one that they didnt respect, and that person was driven into the wilderness to die.

Respect is just as important in modern human society even though the consequences of not having it arent as dire. The extent to which people respect you will determine your social value, your ability to build a strong network, and ultimately conquer your world. Being respected makes life easier, since people will be less inclined to start shit with you (“starting shit” could mean calling you out at a board meeting, stealing a customer from you, or trying to provoke you into action).

So how do you go about getting the respect that you deserve? Here are the three rules that you need to obey.

3 Rules to Gaining Respect

1. Know your Sh^t, Be the Sh^t

To be the sh^t, you need to know your sh^t. Nobody respects a dummy. You must possess 360 degrees of knowledge, and that means knowing the jobs of your subordinates and bosses as well as your own. Be aware of the environment that you operate in; specifically, know what your competition is up to, know what your clients/customers/fans are thinking, and stay on top of current events. Without being a know-it-all, take every strategic opportunity to demonstrate the knowledge that you have acquired

This might require you to sacrifice 15 minutes of your time to watch CNBC instead of The View or ESPN. You might have to give up some facebook time to hit up the competition’s website, or your own – (Im amazed at how few people actually visit their own company’s site!) The more knowledge that you acquire in your field, the more confident you will become. And with this confidence, you will be able to tackle the big, strategically important projects that will force your peers and superiors to stand up, take notice, and respect your swagger.

To know your sh^t is not enough, you need to look like you are the sh^t. We humans are superficial creatures, and our perception is reality. How you are perceived is based on how you look, and the perceptions of others determines whether or not they will respect you. Say what you will about the asshole in the Aston Martin, deep down inside you wonder what superpowers he has used to be able to afford a $300,000 ride and you afford him instant credibility. Would Donald Trump’s words still carry weight if he looked like a hobo? Would you pay for financial advice from somebody that looks like a beach bum (btw, did you know there really is a guy that calls himself ‘the beach bum’ selling a get rich quick products?! LMAO!)

The answer is no.

Look your best at all times, its always better to be overdressed than under dressed (and when your peers ask “Why are you so dressed up?” respond with “Why arent you?”). This rule is non-negotiable. One should never have to say “Excuse my appearance” . Dress with respect, and respect will be given to you.

2. Choose your Battles Carefully and Leverage Fear

Consider the hidden costs of war: time, political goodwill, an embittered enemy bent on revenge. Sometimes it is better to undermine your enemies covertly. – Robert Greene

Not everyone that threatens you is worth going to war with. Not everyone that insults you deserves a response. You must realize your strength and value, and let that realization guide your actions. Mike Tyson would lose respect for beating up an average guy, Obama wouldnt be the president had he let every insult and accusation become the centerpiece of his campaign, and you will lose respect if you go into fight mode with anyone that calls you out of your name. Stay above the petty stuff, and the petty people. Disarm them with a quick, witty line and avoid letting losers bait you into a fight.

Most times, because you possess a full circle of knowledge that you are capable of readily demonstrating, your peers and subordinates will take themselves out of the game and refuse to compete with you out of fear that their own weaknesses will be exposed. They may challenge each other’s opinions, but when you speak to them it is as a teacher would to a student. Your words and your wisdom become your sword and shield, allowing you to defend against haters and preemptively strike out at real threats.

3. Conserve Words

Think before you speak and, in fact, since words can never be taken back say only what is necessary. This will prevent you from saying something foolish that can be used against you later.

Interpret the things written here into your own circumstances. If you work in a restaurant, looking your best doesnt mean running out and buying $300 shoes. It means being the server who is always well groomed, has a pressed uniform, and a clean apron. If you work in a tax preparation office, it means being the one dressed like you work in an office (slacks, tie, etc).

Clothes that fit and are clean and pressed do more for respect than a $3000 suit that is ill fitting with a ketchup stain from lunch on the lapel (hint: keep some shout wipes on deck). If you are serious about conquering your role, you must conquer your image. There is no longer any such thing as casual Fridays. Leave the flip-flops at the beach, the low cut blouses at the nightclub, and the sagging pants in the penitentiary.

Donts

Dont work your way to respect

Respect is not earned by being a workhorse or by putting in more hours than everyone else. You might get props (acknowledgement) for your work ethic, but no respect. Because you put in more effort than everybody else, the lazy ones around you will hide behind your work ethic and your bosses will only dump more work on you because “youre the hardest worker here, I know you can handle it”. Solution: rather than taking the full workday to do all of your work, get all of it done as fast as possible, leaving no time for socialization, coffee breaks, or internet surfing. Give yourself one hour for tasks that used to take 3. This will free up time for you to learn from your superiors, increase your knowledge, and work on big projects. Delegate the unimportant tasks to somebody else, youve got better things to do with your time.

Dont intimidate others into respecting you

If you attempt to inspire respect through intimidation or confrontation, you will be feared by some hated by others, and that hatred can inspire them to rise up against you. In the real world, this negative behavior can destroy your network of support. On the streets, trying to intimidate your way to the top could get you killed.

Dont Underestimate the Importance of Respect

The respect that you earn will be compounded with even more respect. Its OK if you decide to not to do anything to influence how much others respect you. We are all different and some people dont wish to acquire the power to change their world. This post and this website are not for those people. But for those of you who decide to take the reins, you will be sought after to handle only the most important projects, your peers will look to you for advice, and even your enemies will hold you in fear and esteem.

With the advice in this post, go forth and get the respect you deserve.

Popularity: 32% [?]